Back to the problem
Money  ·  Major Life Event Planning

How to handle an estate after a family member dies — where to actually start

By the time you finish reading this page, you'll know the exact sequence of steps to take — from the first 48 hours through final distribution — so nothing falls through the cracks during one of the hardest times of your life.

Trust Authority Certified Trust Authority
Certified
The Trusted Bottom Line

Start with death certificates — get at least ten certified copies — then locate the will, determine whether probate is required in your state, and open the estate with the probate court before touching any assets or paying any debts.

Verified March 2026 7 sources consulted Updated when evidence changes
Why We're Confident

What we checked before telling you where to start

Estate administration is governed by a patchwork of state laws, IRS rules, and court procedures — so we cross-referenced guidance from the American Bar Association, the IRS, NOLO's estate law library, state probate court self-help resources, and Uniform Probate Code commentary to identify the steps that apply in virtually every jurisdiction. We prioritized process over products: no estate planning software or attorney referral services influenced this sequencing.

  • State probate thresholds reviewed Every U.S. state has a "small estate" threshold — ranging from $20,000 to $184,500 — below which simplified affidavit procedures apply instead of full probate; knowing your state's number changes everything about your first move.
  • IRS filing deadlines confirmed The deceased's final Form 1040 is due by the standard April 15 deadline for the year of death, and a federal estate tax return (Form 706) is required only if the gross estate exceeds the federal exemption — $13.99 million in 2025 — though state estate taxes kick in at lower thresholds in 12 states plus D.C.
  • Executor liability exposure verified Paying debts or distributing assets before formally opening the estate or notifying creditors can make the executor personally liable; the correct sequence — open estate, notify creditors, wait the statutory period, then pay and distribute — is consistent across state law.
  • Beneficiary designation accounts confirmed as non-probate Accounts with named beneficiaries (401(k)s, IRAs, life insurance, POD bank accounts, TOD brokerage accounts) pass outside the will and outside probate entirely — they go directly to the named beneficiary and should not be included in the probate estate inventory.
Your Options

The approach that's right for you depends on the size and complexity of the estate

Most estates fall into one of four tracks — and choosing the wrong one wastes months and money.

Budget
DIY probate using your state's self-help resources

Every state probate court publishes forms and instructions for executors. For a straightforward estate — clear will, cooperative heirs, no real estate disputes — a careful executor can navigate probate without an attorney using NOLO guides and court self-help centers. Budget roughly $500–$1,500 in court filing fees.

Trade-off: One missed step — like failing to publish the creditor notice in a local newspaper as required in many states — can delay the estate for months or expose you to personal liability.

Fastest
Small-estate affidavit — for estates under your state's threshold

If the total probate estate (excluding beneficiary-designated accounts and jointly held property) falls below your state's small-estate limit, an heir can collect assets simply by presenting a signed affidavit to the institution holding the asset. No court, no judge, no waiting period beyond 30–45 days after death. This is legitimately fast — often resolved in weeks.

Trade-off: Only works if the estate qualifies by value; institutions can still refuse if the title is unclear.

Professional
When to hire an estate attorney and what it costs

If the will is contested, the estate owes significant debts, there are out-of-state assets, a business interest is involved, or the family is in conflict, a licensed estate attorney isn't optional — it's protection. Many charge a percentage of the estate (1–4%) or an hourly rate ($200–$500/hr depending on region).

Expect to pay: $2,000–$15,000 for most routine estates; more for litigation or complex business interests.

Save Yourself the Trouble

The mistakes most people make in the first two weeks

Grief makes people want to act quickly and decisively — but several instinctive first moves are exactly wrong and can create legal and financial problems that outlast the grief.

  • Distributing personal property or cash to family members immediately — Until the estate is formally opened and creditors have been notified and given their statutory period to file claims, distributing anything makes the executor personally liable for any unpaid debts that later surface; wait until the process is complete.
  • Closing or emptying bank accounts right away — Joint accounts and POD accounts do pass directly to survivors, but solely-owned accounts are estate assets that must go through the estate; withdrawing from them before Letters Testamentary are issued is technically unauthorized and can trigger bank liability claims.
  • Paying every bill and debt that arrives in the mail — Creditors must be formally notified and must file claims within the statutory period; some debts (like certain credit card balances) may be dischargeable or contestable, and paying them prematurely from estate funds before validating them can reduce the estate without legal obligation to do so.
  • Assuming the will covers everything — Beneficiary-designated accounts, jointly titled property, and living trust assets all pass outside the will; failing to identify and separately handle these non-probate assets is one of the most common and costly oversights executors make.

What others did

58 community results
  • MK
    Margaret K., Columbus OH  ·  4 months ago Worked

    My mother passed with a modest estate — a house, two bank accounts, and a car. I was terrified of probate but our county court's self-help center was genuinely useful. I ordered 12 death certificates the day after she died (needed every single one), filed the will with the court two weeks later, and the whole thing closed in about nine months without an attorney. The key was following the creditor notice rules to the letter — the clerk walked me through it.

    41 found this helpful
  • DR
    David R., Portland OR  ·  7 months ago Worked

    Dad had a revocable living trust, so most of his assets skipped probate entirely — I just needed to act as successor trustee and retitle the accounts. What I didn't expect: he still had an old brokerage account in his name alone with no beneficiary listed, and that one had to go through a simplified probate process separately. Get a complete picture of every account before you assume the trust covers everything.

    33 found this helpful
  • TC
    Teresa C., Atlanta GA  ·  2 months ago Partially worked

    I tried to handle my brother's estate myself — no attorney — and got about 80% of the way through before hitting a wall: he owned a small rental property with a mortgage, and the lender and title company both insisted on an attorney opinion letter before they'd work with me. I eventually had to hire an estate attorney anyway for just that piece, which cost about $1,800. If there's real property involved, factor in at least a consultation with an attorney from the start even if you plan to DIY the rest.

    27 found this helpful

Did this solution work for you? Tell us what happened — it helps the next person.

"Trust, but verify." — Ronald Reagan

Our sources for this solution

We believe in Reagan's rule. Here's everything we consulted — check our work.